Monday, May 7, 2007

The Freedom of Youth! (part 2)

Spiderman 3 is currently in theaters, and is breaking all box-office records known to man. Because of this, I thought that now would be a good time to show just how much a kid can do with Spiderman, all without spending a dime. Spiderman was my hero when I was little; for a year or so, I truly believed I was Peter Parker. I bet I've drawn Spiderman over a thousand times...Now I'm not saying these drawings pack the same entertainment value as a $300 million dollar blockbuster, but from what I've heard, they may not be as cringe-inducing as the LATEST escapades of everyone's favorite web-slinger.

Spiderman vs. Rhino!
Look at that agility! Look at that finesse! Spidermans a dynamo!!! But what about Rhino? Rhino isn't a great idea for a super-villian alter ego. A rhino has horns and likes to charge, but its gonna take more than that to be taken seriously as a villian. Don't believe me? Take a look at this guy.

It's a great costume, but I don't think it's gonna strike fear into the hearts of anyone. This guy actually looks more like the Rhino I drew than the real Rhino does! I had a childhood premonition or something. Visions of future comic-cons came to me in my dreams...

Spiderman vs. Stegron!
Stegron didn't get an ounce of the exposure that the Lizard did, but in my opinion, he is the superior lizard-man. A scientist named Victor Stegron injects himself with dinosaur DNA and becomes a walking, talking stegosaurus! Look at those armor plates! That spiked tail! And he has a laser gun! Stegron is a wet-dream of cool! But as you can see, Stegron and his laser gun are no match for Spidey's moves. All it takes is a graceful handspring for Spiderman to evade his deadly blast. Too bad the Triceratop bones don't have the agility of a spider...I'll bet Stegron doesnt even feel guilty destroying the bones of his dinosaur brothers. Now THAT's evil.

Spiderman vs. Hulk!
Two of my favorite characters go head to head! I'm sure I had fun drawing these guys back in the day. They each have so much in common. Peter Parker and Bruce Banner, both gifted scientists, both exposed to radiation...both saddled with great power and great responsibility. There will be a lot of happy people out there if Spidey and the Hulk ever show up in the same movie. Sure, it's happened in comics time and time again, but a movie...well, thats a whole other story, isnt it? Based on the budget for the latest Hulk and Spidey movies, a meeting between the two should only cost half a billion dollars. What does that work out to hourly? Spiderman 3 cost around three hundred million dollars, and runs two hours, twenty minutes...that equates to 15 thousand dollars a minute. I haven't seen the movie, but my guess is there aren't very many 15 thousand dollar minutes in it. If I think about it that way, a ten dollar movie ticket is a bargain. I'm buying 15 thousand dollar minutes for mere pennies! Maybe that will take the sting out of seeing my childhood hero flop around like he's auditioning for the sequel to Dirty Dancing. But then again...aren't some memories supposed to be priceless?